Beaver County Times, May 24 2015

Insanity came to the NHL last week in the form of the eight-year, $50 million contract Mike Babcock signed to coach Toronto.
The money isn't even the biggest issue. The Maple Leafs are a financial success, even though they haven't won the Stanley Cup since 1967.
It's the idea of a hockey coach lasting eight years with one team. It can happen, but it isn't very likely.
Coaches flame out quickly in the NHL. When the Penguins won the Cup in 1991 and '92, they were in a stretch of eight coaches in 11 years. (One change was involuntary, with Bob Johnson's illness and subsequent death).
Things have been more stable in recent years with a record-setting stay for Dan Bylsma, but they've still had three head coaches in the last seven seasons. That period also included a championship.
Scotty Bowman, the best to ever hold the job, coached five different teams in his career.
Babcock has one Cup victory on his resume, which ties him with Terry Crisp, John Tortorella and Bylsma.
The Maple Leafs are deluding themselves if they think coaching is their problem. They've run a poor organization for a long time and don't have enough players to seriously compete for a championship.
Babcock becomes the Leafs' fifth coach in the last eight seasons, and a likely candidate to spend part of the next eight years being paid a lot of money to stay home.
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--NOT A CHANCE
Babcock's deal shows how misguided last summer's speculation was that he would wind up with the Penguins.
The assumption was made because of his past association with Sidney Crosby on the Canadian Olympic teams.
Babcock may have enjoyed coaching Crosby in the NHL. He'll enjoy $50 million even more.
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--OH MY
Simon Despres scored a game-winning goal for Anaheim in the playoffs the other night.
He was also on the ice in the last minute to protect the Ducks' one-goal lead.
The Penguins still have Ben Lovejoy.
---
--'TIS THE SEASON
Ah, summer. Never mind the recent cool weather.
Soon school will be out, and kids will be free to spend those warm sunny afternoons in darkened rooms, being entertained and challenged by the squonks and beeps of sophisticated video games.
Of course, that will be in the moments when they're not texting their friends.
All is not lost, though. Those Little League fields can be repurposed to grow organic zucchini.
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--SECRET FORMULA
Thanks to Will Smith for providing baseball's throwback moment of the week.
The Brewers reliever was suspended eight games for having a foreign substance on his arm. In a game where sophisticated pharmaceuticals had taken over, it's refreshing to see a guy who seeks a way to cheat using ordinary clubhouse supplies.
The offending material, according to Smith, was a combination of rosin and sunscreen.
His explanation was as peculiar as his choice of goo. He said it was "chilly and kind of windy," so he slathered rosin and sunscreen on his arm. Then, he said, he forgot to wipe it off before he went out to pitch.
A lot of people might have just gone with a long-sleeved shirt.
---
--STUPID HOST TRICK
David Letterman retired last week after 6,028 shows over 33 years, spread across two networks.
It was an amazing run, even though it seemed like the United States Postal Service should have been a sponsor over the last several years because he was mailing it in so often.
Ben Roethlisberger and Jerome Bettis were among the Pittsburgh people who were on the list of 19,932 guests he welcomed over the years. (Mario Lemieux declined his invitation).
But there was another local sports connection that seems to have been forgotten in all the retrospectives.
Steelers founder Art Rooney died on Aug. 25, 1988, which led to an unfortunate attempt at humor on Letterman's "Late Night" show on NBC.
He noted Rooney's passing, then added, "It's terribly sad, and there's a little controversy surrounding this because he died during the exhibition season. So does it count?''
The studio audience groaned at the line. Pittsburgh viewers called local affiliate WPXI to complain, and Letterman issued an on-air apology the next night.
"It was poor judgment,'' Letterman said. ''My heartfelt apologies to them."
He also did a satellite interview with WPXI, expanding on the apology he'd offered on the show.

Altoona Mirror, May 20, 2015

If anyone's perspective on David Letterman is limited to the past 10 years or so, it's reasonable to wonder why his retirement is a big deal.
That same limited context might reduce Paul McCartney to a Kanye West collaborator who also did the insipid "Silly Love Songs" that radio plays too often.
Those who find significance in Letterman's departure from television know the role he's played in shaping late night talk shows over 33 years.
The funny thing is it all started at 11 o'clock in the morning. NBC gave Letterman a show in 1980 and wedged it into the daytime schedule. The network soon discovered that viewers wanted game shows at that hour. If they tolerated a talk show, it was a traditional and benign lovefest, like those hosted by Mike Douglas and Merv Griffin.
The experimental chaos of Letterman's morning show was a square peg that lasted just 19 weeks. But it earned Letterman a well-paid seat on NBC's bench while the network looked for a better fit.
That came in 1982 when "Late Night" debuted in the 12:30 a.m. slot after Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show." Then the fun started.
The limited guest pool led the Letterman staff to take chances. Howard Stern, then an afternoon DJ in New York, got his first national TV exposure on "Late Night." So did Dr. Ruth Westheimer, an elfin Jewish grandmother who giggled while offering sex advice on local radio. Andy Kaufman's weirdness found a home.
Brother Theodore, a bizarre Greenwich Village performance artist, was sometimes the lead guest. So was Harvey Pekar, a Cleveland file clerk who turned slices of his life into comic book narratives. People who did local cable access shows were invited. So was Alba Ballard, who made costumes for her parrots.
Letterman wore a coat and tie and smiled nicely, but there was always an edge. When actress Nastassja Kinski showed up with strangely vertical hair, he wouldn't let it go. "What happened there?" he finally asked her. A lottery jackpot winner who always wore a derby was a guest, leading Letterman to ask, "Now how does this work: Do they give you all the money at once, or just enough to buy the hat?"
The show literally had a different vibe. Carson's production company limited "Late Night" to four musicians, so Paul Shaffer was hired, then he recruited a few of the city's top session players, all of whom were fluent in Stax and Motown.
The real genius of "Late Night" was the "found" comedy. The studio and its surroundings became a playground for elevator races (called by Marv Albert and Bob Costas). Letterman wandered the halls and crashed the set of the local "Live at 5" news to interrupt or poach guests. Watching "Late Night" was like being in a secret club.
"More fun than humans should be allowed to have," Letterman liked to say. "Wake the kids and phone the neighbors."
He opened a window and used a bullhorn to order hot dogs from a sidewalk cart. He called the pay phones on Sixth Avenue to see who might answer. He struck up a phone friendship with a woman visible in an office across the street.
When they left the studio, they crushed things with a steamroller or dropped them off a five-story tower. A scan of the Yellow Pages led to remote shoots to find New York royalty -- businesses with names like Mattress King and Parking King, with Letterman usually asking if His Majesty was on the premises.
People brought their dogs in for "Stupid Pet Tricks." Viewer mail was answered weekly. Staffers and studio technicians became celebrities, none bigger than Chris Elliott, a former tour guide whose odd personas included The Panicky Guy, The Guy Under The Seats and Marlon Brando.
Actor Calvert DeForest became Larry "Bud" Melman, sort of an all-purpose mascot after he proved to be perpetually uncomfortable in front of live cameras.
The unsung hero of the early days was Merrill Markoe, who was Letterman's girlfriend and head writer. Letterman was never as funny as he was when Markoe was providing the ideas. Hunt down the "Late Night" clips on youtube for proof.
The show had an 11-year run on NBC. The network chose Jay Leno over Letterman as Carson's successor, which led to the 1993 move to CBS and 11:30, direct competition with "Tonight."
As the show became more mainstream, it became less interesting. Nobody can innovate forever. Letterman got older and became less engaged with the show. The monologue filled with redundancies. Letterman rarely left the studio, then even stopped leaving the stage, dropping the audience participation bits that highlighted his ability to ad lib.
His memorable moments at CBS came as a broadcaster rather than an entertainer -- returning to production after 9/11, coming back after heart bypass surgery, enjoying late-life fatherhood, and confessing to affairs with subordinates after an extortion plot made his indiscretions public.
There have been fewer reasons to wake the kids and phone the neighbors in recent years. Some guests still interested Letterman, and he did well with them. On the other hand, CBS kept sending in the stars of "The Big Bang Theory" and it was obvious Letterman has never seen the show.
Letterman retires just weeks after his 68th birthday. Late night is different now. It's not as much about doing a good show as it is producing clips that will go viral the next day.
Seth Meyers, who has the 12:30 show on NBC, recently did a piece where he was behind the scenes at Yankee Stadium, harassing the organist and taking over the public address system. It was the kind of thing Letterman would have done 30 years ago. Those don't work if the perpetrator is a senior citizen.
It seems like CBS is not unhappy with the change that will take place when Stephen Colbert takes over on Sept. 8. The switch should give them a chance to better compete with NBC's Jimmy Fallon, whose freakishly giddy style is posting killer ratings.
When Letterman does his last show on Wednesday night, it will end a late night lineage that started with Steve Allen, then continued with Jack Paar and Carson. All three were guests on Letterman's shows; all three are now gone.
It's a different TV universe, and it's definitely time for Letterman to pull the plug on his long run.
The show may seem mundane these days, but be assured there was a time when it really was more fun than humans should be allowed to have.
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John Mehno has followed David Letterman's TV career since the morning show and was part of the studio audience seven times -- three at NBC, three at CBS and an anniversary special at Radio City Music Hall).

Beaver County Times, May 17, 2015

Very expensive lawyers are going to be racking up a lot of billable hours arguing about whether footballs were slightly deflated.
We're still the greatest country in the world!
Tom Brady cheated? That gives him something in common with a lot of other athletes. They're a competitive bunch, and they'll do almost anything to win.
So if that means taking a needle, taking a pill, or taking a needle to a football, it's worth considering.
Gaylord Perry built his Hall of Fame career on the mastery of an illegal pitch. Everybody knew he threw it and seemed to accept it.
But Gaylord wasn't a pretty boy who was married to a super model. He was a bumpkin who spoke with a drawl, and everybody thought it was kind of funny that a country boy could outsmart all those fancy city folks.
He titled his autobiography, "Me And The Spitter" and detailed how he doctored baseballs on his way to 314 wins and enshrinement in Cooperstown.
Perry's disobedience was blatant, but who doesn't fudge the rules a bit for personal gain?
Teams do it, too, manipulating the disabled list with phantom injuries that allow them to juggle the roster.
Most of America is reveling in Brady's discomfort, while Patriots loyalists insist this is a misguided attempt to undermine their team.
That's the way it works. A sense of justice usually breaks down along the lines of zip codes. You rarely hear it in western Pennsylvania, but a lot of people in other parts of the country think the Steelers' four Super Bowl wins in the 1970s were too heavily influenced by steroids.
When this all shakes down, Brady's suspension could be reduced. His reputation will take a hit, but that doesn't seem to matter much in a world that makes stars of the Kardashians.
The only thing that's certain: Lawyers will profit.
---
--HO HUM
Steelers' No. 1 draft pick Bud Dupree signed the other day, and it barely caused a ripple.
There's a slotting system for draft picks, so there's really no purpose in holding out. That ended the time-honored dance of the player staying away from camp while the team issued stern warnings about all the important instruction he was missing.
The other great tradition, which was much more short-lived, involved the local TV stations trying to get the Steelers' first-round choice to town to appear exclusively on their news broadcast.
It was classic cloak-and-dagger stuff with back channel deals being made, planes being chartered and limousines being hired.
If some of it seemed like an abduction, that was just the price of doing business. They could promote their success in getting that first appearance, even if it left the player scarred with a first impression of Pittsburgh that included too much Sam Nover.
The Steelers organization would stand back and watch, happy to let someone else pick up the tab for bringing their player to town.
One day it was over. The stations realized the practice was a profound waste of money that could be applied to purchasing a new radar gizmo that might help with the six-times-an-hour weather guesses.
---
--MISSING THE POINT
Here's why Root Sports drives you crazy, beyond the obvious (like the cliche of showing an Asian fan every time Jung Ho Kang gets a hit):
Friday, the Pirates lost at Wrigley Field when Gregory Polanco stumbled and fell while trying to catch the most routine pop-up.
The story at that point was entirely Polanco. It would have been impossible to overdo Polanco at that moment.
Yet instead of focusing on him as he made his way back to the dugout, Root had to have the perfunctory shots of other things that meant nothing.
Before we saw a replay, we saw the Cubs celebrating. We saw fans cheering. More Cubs celebrating. More Cubs celebrating, one player with a plastic bucket on his head. Cubs manager Joe Maddon high-fived someone.
After the replays, it was a replay of the runner scoring from third without a play. Then fans waving a flag.
There was a brief shot of Polanco being approached by Pedro Alvarez and another of Clint Hurdle looking bewildered in the dugout.
Did Polanco's gestures offer any clue about what happened? Did teammates approach to console him? Did Hurdle interact with him?
We don't know. We were watching fans waving a flag and a guy with a bucket on his head.

Beaver County Times, May 10, 2015

Here's the absolute, indisputable, definitive take-it-to-the-bank grade on the Steelers' 2015 draft:
Incomplete.
Seriously, who knows? Most of the players drafted are just figuring out where Pittsburgh is on the map. Until the current rookie camp, they probably hadn't seen a single page of an NFL playbook, and they don't have any clue of what they're in for when real training camp opens.
They have a lot to learn, and they have to translate those lessons into actions on field, competing against better players than they've ever seen. It's one thing to understand an assignment, another to execute it in a split-second in pressure situations.
Teams draft for talent and intelligence and hope they can make prospects into players. But they're never sure. There are first-round flops just as there are free agents who beat the odds and have great careers.
Mel Kiper gave the Steelers an A-minus for this year's draft on ESPN. That's encouraging, but Kiper is just projecting. So are the Steelers. You gather as much information as you can, you make picks, you work hard to teach them. Then you hope.
It will take at least two years to draw any reliable conclusions on the 2015 draft.
---
--TAKE SOME TIME
Craig Patrick's final years as Penguins' GM were filled with dubious decisions, so it's easy to forget that he was one of then league's sharpest operators for a long time.
One of his unbreakable rules was he would take at least a week after a season ended before making any major decisions.
Whether the season was good or bad, Patrick wanted that time to distance himself from all the emotion so he could proceed with some sense of objectivity. He always made it clear he wouldn't speak publicly until he was sure he was ready.
The Penguins would have done well to borrow that practice this year. There was no urgency to announce that Jim Rutherford and Mike Johnston would return, yet the announcement was made as soon as the team was eliminated from the playoffs.
Bringing both back might be the correct decision. But there was certainly no rush to make it.
---
--PATIENCE NEEDED
The Pirates are clearly scuffling and need to improve significantly if they're going to contend for the NL Central title.
But there's too much overreaction to temporary issues in a very long season.
Clint Hurdle, who has a knack for noting such things, pointed out the other day that in two weeks he'd gone from fielding questions about whether Jung Ho Kang should be in the minor leagues to being asked why Kang wasn't playing more often.
Jordy Mercer took a .186 average into Saturday's game. On this date last season, Mercer was batting .191. He finished at .255. Give it time.
---
--STEAL AWAY
The Pirates have brought Omar Moreno back into the organization to tutor players on stealing bases.
Sounds like it should be a good idea, but is it? Moreno twice led the National League in stolen bases (71 in 1978 and 77 in '79) and had another year with 96 steals when he was not the leader.
But he also led the league three times in being caught stealing. Moreno succeeded on about 73 percent of his attempts. That put him at No. 252  in career stolen base success rate entering this season.
By comparison, Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson is at 80.7 percent.
Now that steroids are gone, there's more of an emphasis on running again. After all these years, maybe Moreno has a better grasp on which gambles are worth taking.
---
--FORGIVABLE MISTAKE
You may remember that Jerry Meals made one of the most egregiously bad calls in the last decade of MLB.
Meals inexplicably blew an obvious call at the plate that cost the Pirates a 19th inning loss in Atlanta in 2011. It was one of the most notorious wrong calls since Don Denkinger missed one on the much bigger stage of the 1985 World Series. Meals' mistake fueled support for the replay policies that have been adopted.
Meals is in town this weekend, working the current series against the Cardinals. He's a crew chief now.
In some lines of work, you'd be in trouble for that kind of error. In baseball, it's no barrier to promotion.
---
--HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
The ones who didn't throw away the baseball cards are extra special.

Beaver County Times, May 3, 2015

The question is not how big Bud Dupree is, what his college statistics were or even how he got the too-cool name ("Before you buy anywhere else, come see me at Bud Dupree Toyota for the very best deal.")
The only thing that matters now is whether he can help the Steelers win games in 2015.
They need immediate help for a defense that sagged badly last season, one that is the final stages of a painful but necessary transition that has sent notable veterans either to other teams or filing retirement papers.
It's great if Dupree will help for several years down the road, but they desperately need him to do something now.
History says that won't be the case. The Steelers rarely get significant contributions from rookies, especially on defense. Troy Polamalu, who retired as a Hall of Fame candidate, didn't start as a rookie. He didn't argue about it, either, saying that he didn't have a firm enough grasp on things to play regularly.
Last year in training camp, assistant coach Keith Butler admitted there were times when rookie linebacker (and No. 1 draft pick) Jarvis Jones would yell, "What do I do?" to teammates as the ball was being snapped.
Butler is now defensive coordinator, succeeding Dick LeBeau, whose complex defense baffled rookies in the way that calculus overwhelms high school freshmen.
The incumbent at Dupree's position is Arthur Moats, a capable backup who won't be mistaken for an NFL starter.
Dupree came to town on Friday and said all the right things. Asked if he expected to start, he said his only immediate goal was to help the team.
The rookie salary cap has virtually eliminated delays in signing contracts, and it's vital for the Steelers to get Dupree's deal wrapped up as soon as possible.
Get him into the weight room, but most importantly, get him into the classroom with his playbook and position coaches.
The "help wanted" sign the Steelers put out for a pass-rushing linebacker came with urgency.
---
--COSTLY MISTAKE
There are so many potential draft picks with legal issues, that's almost become part of the standard player profile.
Randy Gregory, a pass-rushing specialist from Nebraska, was thought to be a first-round talent. He wasn't drafted until the Cowboys made him the 60th player chosen.
Gregory tested positive for marijuana at the scouting combine. As one of the pundits on ESPN's "NFL Insiders" noted, if he's using when he's a college student, what is he going to do when he has millions?
Gregory comes into the NFL with one strike already against him under the NFL's substance abuse policy. His bad judgment literally sent millions of dollars up in smoke.
---
--BEWARE, DH HATERS
Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright sustained a season-ending Achilles tendon injury while batting, which prompted the usual knee jerk cries to make the designated hitter rule universal.
Wainwright stumbled while leaving the batters box, a freak injury that could have happened as he navigated the dugout steps.
Purists don't want the DH in the National League, but they're fighting a losing battle.
The DH isn't going away, so any changes will make the rule standard for all games. It's been trending that way.
In Bud Selig's long regime, the separate identities of the leagues were severely diluted. He abolished the league offices and league presidents, preferring to have everything run from the commissioners office.
The Brewers transferred to the National League, and the Astros went to the American League. Umpiring was placed under a central office instead of having separate squads for each league.
The introduction of interleague play was a factor, too. Now it's been expanded from a mid-summer attraction to a season-long reality. The Pirates opened their home season against the Tigers. When American League teams play in a National League park, they often leave an expensive DH on the bench.
Every change in rules is aimed at getting more offense in the game. That purpose isn't served by having pitchers flail hopelessly at pitches. A lot of them can't even bunt.
The Players Association will never give up the DH rule because it serves the union well. Any effort to standardize will put it in both leagues rather than eliminating it.
---
--ANNUAL SIGNS OF SPRING
PNC Park opens....the Steelers express surprise that their No. 1 pick was still available....the Penguins promise to find wingers for Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin...

Beaver County Times, April 26, 2015

Pitt hired Scott Barnes as athletic director, and a couple of things about that:
1. The announcement was made on a Friday when the Penguins were facing elimination in the playoffs and the Pirates were starting a nine-game trip. Usually Friday in a crowded schedule like that is an environment for a company that wants to bury bad news, like a price increase or an unpleasant termination. Just odd they didn't wait until Monday.
2. Barnes' hiring comes nearly four months after Pat Narduzzi signed on as Pitt's football coach, and that shows what the AD's job is these days. The administration of will take care of the big decisions, while the AD's job is to bring in as much money as possible.
So Barnes, who has no prior relationship to Pittsburgh, will figure ways to make wallets magically open.
It's an interesting challenge, because Pitt isn't necessarily it for a lot of people.
This market is dominated by professional sports. Football weekends revolve around the Steelers, in good times and bad. For every talk show call about Pitt football, there are 20 complaining about the Steelers' offensive coordinator, no matter who he is.
Even among those who follow college football, Pitt may not be it.
Penn State and West Virginia have a lot of alumni in the region, and their only interest in Pitt is in seeing the Panthers lose, preferably by as wide a margin as possible.
The venom can run deep. A friend -- let's call him Jeff, because that's his name -- is a Penn State loyalist. He has all the words to that "We Are..." chant memorized.
Pittsburgh born and bred, he lives here, too. But his sports loyalties are firmly planted a few area codes away at University Park.
Occasionally Pitt will have a football game that intrigues him as a viable Saturday afternoon entertainment option. But if he does attend, Jeff won't buy a ticket at the window.
He'll deal with one of the "who needs two?" guys on the street because he figures that means his money isn't going directly into Pitt coffers and helping the enemy.
That's the kind of hard case Barnes will encounter on his new job.
His first priority is to fix football, along with Narduzzi. The program has taken too many punches in recent years. Home games show how faded those yellow upper deck seats at Heinz Field are, because too many of them are empty.
If he wants to work a miracle, he could find a way to make people interested in women's basketball. Pitt made the NCAA Tournament and has a well-known and charismatic coach in Suzie McConnell Serio, but nobody goes to games.
The smartest thing Barnes can do is avoid the crackpots who want Pitt football to return to campus. Not only is the cost of building a sparsely-used stadium outrageously prohibitive, there are now fewer than 10 open parking spots in Oakland at any given moment.
The idea of funneling 60,000 people into that area on a Saturday is ridiculous. Better to spend the effort finding ways to get people into Heinz Field on days when the Steelers and Kenny Chesney aren't the attraction.
---
--LOOK OUT
The Pirates have enjoyed kicking the Cubs around for the past few seasons, but those days may be ending.
The Cubs have assembled a nice group of young talent. As Wrigley Field is being expanded into a beer-soaked theme park, the Cubs' revenues should be spiking in the next few years, too.
That talent base and ability to spend will make them a formidable competitor.
---
--PLUGGING LEAKS?
The Steelers have made the necessary deletions on defense, but have they actually improved on that side of the ball?
The offense is good enough to win a Super Bowl. The defense is still well short of that level. You can't win 'em all 41-35.
They usually don't find immediate help in the draft, so presumably they're counting on a lot of improvement from within (Hello, Ryan Shazier and Jarvis Jones).
Given their beast of a schedule, that could be a tall order.
---
--THE TWO AND ONLY
Root had one of those "Pucks and Bucs" combination specials on Friday, covering the Penguins' playoff game, followed by the Pirates at Arizona.
That proves that no matter what it sounds like, Dan Potash and Robby Incmikoski are actually two different people.