Beaver County Times, September 7, 2014

Here's how the NFL works: There are a few teams that are really good and could go 12-4.
There are a few teams that are really bad and could go 4-12.
Everybody else is in that giant middle cluster, somewhere between 9-7 and 7-9, depending on variables like who gets hurt (or arrested), how the ball bounces and whether it snows in Philadelphia.
They call that parity, and it's been the league's goal forever. The draft and the salary cap help deter dynasties, and that's the way the NFL wants it. It's much better for business when everyone has some semblance of hope and the final weeks have enough wild card possibilities to keep the faithful hyperventilating.
Your 2014 Steelers are in that middle crowd, a team that could reach the playoffs, but probably won't. They're not good enough to be 12-4, and they're too good to be 4-12, so it will probably be like the last couple of seasons.
The issues now are mostly on defense. A lot of the old and slow has been flushed out over the past couple of seasons. They're younger and faster, but who knows if they understand where they're supposed to go.
In all the customarily tedious dispatches from training camp, there was one priceless nugget of information that emerged. Linebackers coach Keith Butler revealed there were times last year when No. 1 draft pick Jarvis Jones was yelling, "What do I do, what do I do?" before the ball was snapped.
He wasn't asking that in the existential sense, but rather trying to figure out exactly what his assignment was. If we know anything about the Steelers, it's that they run a complicated defense and players usually need a couple of seasons to understand it. Is it a coincidence that players like Cam Heyward and Jason Worilds didn't become contributors until they had years in the system?
Defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau said there was no effort to simplify the playbook, so it's going to be sink or swim for new players. History says there will be some rescues from the deep end.
The Steelers re-signed veteran Brett Keisel late in the preseason, a move that was widely hailed by sentimentalists and fans of prodigious facial hair. But from a more practical standpoint, it should probably be viewed as a red flag, an acknowledgment that help is needed on the defensive line. The team went into the offseason planning for life without Keisel, but now needs him as a failsafe.
Ike Taylor came back at a flea market price following a rocky season. LeBeau said Taylor was fighting injuries last season. We'll see. He will undoubtedly be targeted again by the divisional teams that burned him last season.
There's a lot of inexperience. First-rounder Ryan Shazier is being counted on to start and take on the challenge that baffled Jones last season.
Makes you wonder if "What do I do, what do I do?" might be a multi-voiced refrain this season, one that defines this defense more than "Renegade" does.
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--NO DEBATE
It seems like every Pirates game features at least one plate appearance where Ike Davis is called out on a third strike he doesn't like.
He disputes the call and walks away shaking his head. But he's out. Given that ball-strike calls are one of the few umpire decisions that can't be reviewed by replay, he'd probably be better served by swinging the bat.
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--MISSED OPPORTUNITY?
At last check, Gregory Polanco was hitting around .208 since he started his major league career with an 11-game hitting streak.
Wonder if he has any regrets about passing on that reported $75 million offer?
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--NO NEWS, BAD NEWS
If you've listened to 93.7 The Fan (KDKA-FM), you know the most useful part of the programming is the sports news updates that run three times an hour. This is especially the case when they're handled by Jeff Hathhorn and Eric Hagman.
The station has changed the format for the updates, needlessly sabotaging the station's most redeeming feature.
If they want to make the station better, encourage hosts to stay away from those discussions about what kind of potato chips they like best.
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--FACE THE NATION
It's been so long since Steelers fans have had to work up a real froth over the Browns. For that reason alone, you have to hope that Johnny Manziel gets in today's game.

Beaver County Times, August 31, 2014

People get sappy about the opening day of baseball season, writing gooey paeans to the way springtime optimism blooms like the daffodils. As Mad magazine was fond of saying, yecch.
The most joyful point on the sports calendar might be the moment the clock reads 0:00 on the last NFL preseason game.
It means the exhibition season is over, the rosters will be cut, and teams will now scout opponents, formulate a game plan and, you know, actually try to win.
The final preseason game is especially awful because the starters sit. The Steelers devoted several hours the other night to reinforcing the sound theory that if their season got down to Landry Jones at quarterback, they'd be pretty well sunk.
Coaches love the preseason because they get video on marginal players. Of course. Coaches obsess. But the fact is most of the cuts could have been made after a week of training camp.
They call them games and they charge regular prices for tickets and everything else, but they're really scrimmages. The uniforms are recognizable, and the estimable Ed Hochuli shows up to make the calls. The action on the field bears little resemblance to the real NFL product, though.
As consumer scams go, this is up there with personal seat licenses. Here's hoping the undrafted free agents got selfies so they'll have proof they once wore an NFL uniform. Now kindly go home, and let the real games start.
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--HOBBLING HURDLE
Poor Clint Hurdle. In addition to the daily stress of managing (especially with a shaky bullpen), he's suffering physically with a bad hip.
He's headed for replacement surgery, and there was sentiment that he should have had that done over the All-Star break. He didn't, and he's probably now regretting that decision to tough it out through the rest of the season. Thanks to Root's constant surveillance of Hurdle in the dugout, you can see he's hurting.
It seems like Jared Hughes gets to the mound quicker on his mad sprint from the bullpen than Hurdle does on his wobbly walk from the dugout.
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--MISSING THE POINT
Greg Brown is one of the most conscientious broadcasters around, which makes it even more disappointing that he adheres to the silly tradition of not directly saying a no-hitter is in progress.
It's potentially one of the biggest stories of the season, and listeners have to decipher clues to figure out what's happening.
This is rooted in the dugout superstition that mentioning a no-hitter jinxes it. That might be OK for the players, but it's a losing strategy for broadcasters. The game is decided on the field, not by some mojo from the radio booth. Lanny (Hi, Friends) Frattare, who routinely overloaded broadcasts with mind-numbing factoids, did the same incongruous thing.
The radio audience is transient. People constantly join the game in progress, so tell them what's happening. When Edinson Volquez completed the sixth inning Friday night, Brown's summation was that he had allowed three base runners, hitting one batter and walking two others.
They'll tell you a dozen times about Free Shirt Friday. They don't hesitate to mention no-hitters in other games. It's OK to be up front about one against the Pirates. But listeners need a decoder ring to figure out that a Pirates pitcher is doing something special.
There have been four no-hitters by Pirates pitchers in the last 54 years. There have probably been 10 times that many close calls (remember Jose DeLeon?) So by the numbers, the jinx theory doesn't even work.
Of course, if someone bought a sponsorship -- "This no-hitter update is brought to you by Winky's" -- they couldn't mention it enough.
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--CALLING IT QUITS
James Harrison has officially retired. He had a fine career, he has a permanent place in Steelers history for his Super Bowl touchdown, and he's presumably sitting on a bank account made fat by big contracts.
But the best thing about this announcement is people won't be calling talk shows every five minutes to ask if the Steelers should bring him back.
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--DOWN THE AISLE
Big week for celebrity weddings: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in France, Kevin McClatchy and longtime partner Jack Basilone in Martha's Vineyard.

Beaver County Times, August 24, 2014

"Le'Veon and LaGarrette" doesn't tumble off the tongue as easily as Cheech & Chong, but Steelers fans had reason to wonder if the 2014 season had gone up in smoke before it even started.
Word came on Wednesday that running backs Le'Veon Bell and LaGarrette Blount had been cited for marijuana possession while sitting in traffic in the North Hills.
A passenger in their car, one Mercedes Dolson, was also cited. (Her name is likely to be the answer to a future question on KDKA-TV's Steelers Trivia Challenge, so it's probably smart to remember it).
The courts will handle this, and the NFL will have its say. Bell and Blount should probably be most concerned about the three-person jury of Mike Tomlin, Kevin Colbert and Art Rooney II, who will charge them with DDT -- doing dumb things.
The arrests came at around 1 o'clock in the afternoon. The only people who can justify getting high at that hour are musicians and those on lunch break from telemarketing jobs.
Say one thing about that schedule, though. When the munchies inevitably hit, you'll have far more options at 7 p.m. than at 3 a.m. Middle of the night, it's pretty much guaranteed you're going to be stumbling out of the convenience store with petrified hot dogs from the roller, a fistful of Slim Jims and the giant bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
Bell and Blount did many things wrong, and one of them was having two players from the same position group breaking the same laws at the same time. That can cause havoc on the depth chart if suspensions ensue. The concept is the reason the President and Vice President are never on the same plane.
Why get buzzed at 1 in the afternoon? Perhaps the pressure of McKnight Road traffic was intense. Maybe the radio was stuck on 93.7. That would explain a lot. Or are they nervous flyers who wanted to take the edge off before boarding the team plane at 3? The last one seems unlikely, given the Steelers were headed to Philadelphia, a flight no longer than some Kennywood rides.
According to police, a motorcycle officer happened to pull up alongside the car and thought he smelled a Jimmy Buffet concert. He investigated, and found the
evidence.
Look, our culture's relationship with marijuana has evolved. Recreational use is now legal in some states. Not Pennsylvania, of course, where consumers still have to jump through hoops just to buy a six-pack of Miller High Life.
Maybe the Steelers clouded the message a few years ago when they honored hometown hop head Wiz Khalifa at a game. An organization too stodgy to have cheerleaders celebrated an artist whose career has been based on the glorification of cannabis.
But weed isn't just for slackers any more. Even Rick Santorum, so conservative he's suspected of showering with his clothes on, has admitted to past use. Tomlin was part of a generation that grew up with easy access and casual use. A question about his personal history would liven up a Tuesday press conference, but, alas, Jory Rand isn't around now to ask it.
Bell faces a potentially serious DUI charge that could at least cost him driving privileges for a while. Why was he driving this time? With a $1,376,800 signing bonus in the bank, he should hire someone. It's not only stylish to sit in the back seat, it might put a cousin to work.
The episode shows why coaches get weepy when training camp ends and players are no longer locked down. You can only imagine Tomlin's reaction when he got the phone call. Maybe it was like the time he got that call about Milledgeville a few years ago: "He did what?"
In some odd way, it's probably good that Bell and Blount have bonded so quickly. Total strangers nine months ago, they're apparently doobie brothers now.
The citations will show up in the mailbox right between the new Sports Illustrated and the Arby's coupons. The biggest offense here is these guys were dumber than doorknobs to put themselves in a position where they embarrassed themselves and their employer.
One good thing: The arresting officer described them as "cooperative and polite."
You kids remember that. If you're going to do something profoundly stupid, you can at least be courteous.

Beaver County Times, August 17, 2014

Are you stressing out over whether Russell Martin will be back with the Pirates next year?
Relax. He's gone.
They're not going to re-sign him, and they really shouldn't. There is absolutely no doubt Martin's departure will downgrade the catcher position next season.
In a perfect world, the Pirates would sign him for one more year at a hefty raise and get another season like this one from him. That isn't realistic, though.
He's going on the open market, most likely looking for a three-year deal somewhere around $35 million. There's an excellent chance he'll get it from someone. But it will involve a change of address.
Martin will be 32 at the start of next season. He's probably OK for another season, but anything after that is high risk. Most players start to decline in their 30s, and the cliff is even more steep for catchers, who have the toughest workload on the field.
Some catchers are able to last longer. Tony Pena and Jason Kendall did, but they had more flexible bodies than Martin does. Maybe Martin is an exception, but there's a significant collection of actuary tables that says he won't be.
It's a physically demanding position, and Martin doesn't take any shortcuts.
If you're operating on the Pirates' budget, you don't make multi-year commitments to players who are 32. Use that money to lock up players who are 25 or 26 and get their best years instead of the twilight ones.
The Pirates did that expertly with Andrew McCutchen, and they missed badly trying to do that with Jose Tabata.
So don't sweat it. Martin is leaving. Put that future angst aside and enjoy the rest of this season, when he's still throwing his body in front of bad pitches, mentoring pitchers and getting timely hits.
If you're worried about whether they're going to sign Neil Walker, put that aside, too. He owes the Pirates two more seasons beyond this one and can't become a free agent until after the 2016 season, when he'll be 31.
Just so you know: They're not going to sign him, either.
---
--FULL CIRCLE
Back when Three Rivers Stadium was still standing and the battle for new sports venues was being waged, the Pirates chartered a bus and took local media types to Cleveland.
They went for a ball game during the Indians' sellout streak that covered seven seasons and 455 games. The idea was to show the commerce and energy a new ballpark could create. The neighborhood's bars and restaurants were hopping, a sharp contrast to Three Rivers, which was surrounded by parking lots, Kaufmann's warehouse and the occasional "who needs two?" guy.
Naturally, most of the people on the tour took everything at face value and came back gushing about Cleveland's renaissance.
This year the Indians are next to last in MLB attendance. The team recently announced plans to remodel its 20-year-old park. The changes will reduce seating capacity by about 5,000 to 38,000. Now the Pirates have the crowded sidewalks and the tickets that are hard to get.
Sports has always been a cyclical business, especially when there are 81 home dates to sell.
---
--YINZ TUBE
The only good thing about the NFL preseason is the annual reappearance of the "Steelers Trivia Challenge" on KDKA-TV.
The show airs on Saturday nights at 11:30 with the impeccably-coiffed Bob Pompeani channeling Bert Convy as the genial quizmaster. All sorts of ancillary Steelers show exist on TV and radio, solely because there are sponsors anxious to buy them. Even after two years of 8-8, the Steelers are still a gold mine. "Trivia Challenge" trumps them all.
The show has three competing teams, all wearing a rack's worth of Steelers gear, vying for a trophy and more practical swag, like McDonald's certificates that are probably cashed on the ride home.
The questions range from the ridiculously easy ("Where did the Steelers play home games before Heinz Field?") to the ridiculously arcane ("What was the final score of the 1989 Wild Card game?)
There's an unseen studio audience that seems to be comprised of the relatives of the contestants. It has that oh-so-local feel that's been missing ever since "Bowling For Dollars" left the air.
Watch it while you can. Soon the season will start, and the good natured competition among Terrible Towel wavers will be replaced by angry phone calls from wanna-be offensive coordinators and Edmund Nelson complaining about Ben Roethlisberger.

Beaver County Times, August 10, 2014

When Andrew McCutchen is on all fours, writhing in pain and angry enough to slam his bat, it's not good for the Pirates.
That was the case last Sunday when McCutchen was drilled in the back by a pitch from Arizona's Randall Delgado. This was apparent retaliation for the Ernesto Frieri fastball that broke the hand of the Diamondbacks' Paul Goldschmidt.
The difference in the two pitches was it appeared Delgado identified a target and hit it. Frieri had no good reason to hit Goldschmidt, so the pitch was likely a product of Frieri's lousy control rather than malicious intent.
There's no way of knowing whether the pitch that hit McCutchen led to a rib injury sustained on a swing later in the game. Clint Hurdle dismissed the possibility while McCutchen at least left it open to speculation.
The fallout brought a lot of reaction, and most of it didn't make much sense. Tony LaRussa, now a front office honcho with the Diamondbacks, didn't see anything wrong with McCutchen getting hit. That's no surprise. During a managerial career that spanned three teams and 33 years, he promoted more fights than Don King.
(Worth noting: LaRussa was never hit by a pitch in his 203 major league plate appearances). LaRussa was always outraged when one of his players was hit, perpetually indignant if anyone questioned his right to get even.
Supposedly the Diamondbacks violated an unwritten code by failing to hit McCutchen on his first plate appearance. Then Delgado was accused of further trashing protocol by not drilling McCutchen with his first pitch.
So it's OK to bruise a guy as long as he's certain it's coming?
If the circumstances had been reversed, the Pirates would have been livid that McCutchen was dealt a season-ending injury by a nobody's careless inside pitch, regardless of intent. And there's no doubt that some obscure relief pitcher who extracted pointless revenge on a Diamondbacks star would win some points in his own clubhouse.
Baseball players have been aiming pitches at each other for more than a hundred years. Intimidation is part of the game. So is claiming the inside part of the plate so hitters can't dig in and cover more of the strike zone. Sports have always operated on an eye-for-an-eye system. Zach Duke is still vilified, not for his 45-70 record with the Pirates, but for his failure to respond and protect a teammate once.
MLB's inaction, beyond Delgado's immediate ejection, is an indication that the people in charge didn't think it was that big a deal.
People throw baseballs at each other sometimes, reality that's little consolation to someone wearing the imprint of a pitch.
---
--PARTY TIME
South Florida police should be on alert every July 25. That's when the Pouncey twins, the Steelers' Maurkice and Mike of the Dolphins, celebrate their birthday.
Things tend to get a bit spirited, which is why there are reports Maurkice may be facing charges stemming from an incident at this year's party.
The Pounceys are 25 now, so perhaps it's time to tone down the celebration. Maybe stay home and get pizza delivered?
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--CALLING IT QUITS
Pohla Smith retired from the Post-Gazette the other day, ending a 40-year journalism career to battle ongoing health issues.
She worked for UPI's Pittsburgh bureau in the 1970s and was one of the nation's first full-time female sportswriters. She had to stand outside locker rooms and wait for team officials to bring players out to be interviewed. That consistently put her at a big disadvantage in filing stories on tight wire service deadlines.
Eventually women were allowed in locker rooms, but that didn't instantly make things better. Juvenile behavior by players made it impossible for Smith to be just another reporter. A Pirates coach made a vile comment suggesting any females in a locker room had to be seeking more than just a story.
Things have changed. Women regularly cover every team in town and no one gives it a thought. Nobody apparently realized it in 1979, but towels and basic respect solve a lot of the issues.
Meanwhile, any female journalist who covers a locker room without incident should be grateful to the pioneers like Smith, who endured a lot as they changed the culture.

Beaver County Times, August 3, 2014

Baseball's non-waiver trading deadline passed, and the Pirates' roster remained the same.
Ernesto Frieri, Brent Morel and Michael Martinez were all in place after the frenzy had passed. It was business as usual for a team that talked about a lot of deals but didn't make any.
Reaction was swift, angry and predictable. They had betrayed their fans. They were delusional about the potential of their prospects. They passed on a chance to pursue success.
The Pirates needed pitching help, especially for the starting rotation. The two big tickets moved, Boston's Jon Lester to Oakland and Tampa Bay's David Price to Detroit. The Pirates' rotation, which currently lacks a clear cut No. 1 starter, stayed intact.
At this point, it's relevant to invoke the words of the British philosopher Mick Jagger, who once pointed out that you can't always get what you want.
The Pirates evidently pursued both pitchers. In the end, the Red Sox parted with Lester for the chance to acquire Yoenis Cespedes, a right-handed power hitter who should put some dents in Fenway Park's Green Monster. If that's what the Red Sox wanted, the Pirates probably never had a chance.
Cespedes is a wild swinger who has too many strikeouts and not enough walks, but he has a pedigree as a home run hitter. He had 23 and 26 in his first two major league seasons, and is on pace for more than 30 this year. In other words, he's not quite as well-rounded as Andrew McCutchen, but has accomplished more than Starling Marte at this point.
If that was the price for Lester, the Pirates were not a match.
After the smoke had cleared on the three-way deal that sent Price to the Tigers, Peter Gammons wrote this: "Most people thought the Pirates' offer, which was all about prospects and minor leaguers, might have been greater in terms of talent and that the Pirates were much closer to getting Price than we realize."
The Rays opted for a package of two major league players (lefthander Drew Smyly and infielder Nick Franklin) as well as 18-year-old infield prospect Willy Adames. Tampa Bay was apparently interested in immediate help rather than a bundle of prospects who might be two years away from the major leagues. It's their yard sale, so it's their prerogative.
That's the thing about trades -- you make your pitch and hope for the best. As any plaid-jacketed car salesman knows, sometimes the customer goes down the street and makes a deal with someone else.
You tweak and haggle and hope but sometimes (here's Jagger again), you can't get no satisfaction.
---
--FALSE ALARMS
The deadline spotlighted the kind of dubious reporting that seems to be rampant these days.
ESPN ran with a false report that Tampa Bay utility player Ben Zobrist had been traded to the Pirates. They bought into the bogus scoop to the point that the network's experts were discussing how Zobrist would fit into the Pirates' lineup.
Former major league general manager Jim Bowden, a notorious loose cannon, falsely reported the Phillies had traded Marlon Byrd to the Yankees. His uncredited source was apparently a fake Twitter account a prankster had set up using the name of a New York newspaper columnist.
A million or so years ago, new employees of The Associated Press were always instructed with one of those corny sayings that sounds like it came from somebody's fussy old grandmother: "Get it first, but first get it."
Might be time to dust that one off again. It's even more relevant in a Twitter-driven environment.
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--RARE HONOR
The Steelers have never been much on sentiment, but there's always been a special place for Joe Greene, the first player drafted in the organization's turnaround.
So it's no surprise that he would become the second player in franchise history to have his number retired. Dan Rooney chose Greene as his presenter for the Hall of Fame, an earlier nod to what Greene's talent and presence meant to the teams of the 1970s.

Beaver County Times, July 27, 2014

NFL Network is a product of our multi-splintered, 200-channel television universe in which narrowcasting has replaced broadcasting.
There's not only a channel for every interest, there's probably a sub-channel as well. We have channels that feature nothing but cooking shows; how long before we have one devoted to slow cooker recipes? You click back seven hours later to see the finished dish.
NFL Network, launched in 2003, fills a bigger niche than a lot of speciality channels. It reaches about 63 percent of television households in the United States, and it has some programming that appeals to more than the truly obsessed.
NFL Network has a Thursday game of the week. The first half of the schedule this season will also be on CBS, but the last eight Thursday games are exclusive to NFL Network.
As a 24/7 operation, there are a lot of hours to fill. So you not only have wall-to-wall coverage of the NFL draft, you get endless hours of deposed general managers and personnel directors talking about what may happen in the draft. After that, it's the same suspects back to offer opinions of what did happen.
NFL Network provides annual coverage of the NFL Scouting Combine, where players are measured like livestock and tested like chorus line dancers. But with all that time to fill, some of the offerings appear to be as marginal as the "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper" reruns on Nick at Nite.
"Inside Minicamp" and "Live From The Pro Bowl" are two of NFL Network's regular seasonal offerings.
A natural for NFL Network would be a courtroom show. Barely a week passes that an NFL player doesn't show up on a police blotter somewhere. Someone is always getting popped for drug possession on a routine traffic stop, and weapons violations have become commonplace, too. A lot of players are packing something.
Sometimes the brushes with the law are major, as was the case with Ravens running back Ray Rice. A security video showed Rice dragging the limp body of his fiance (now his wife) from an elevator. She was in that state because Rice had allegedly punched her in the face.
It wasn't he said/she said. It was he did. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell looked at this elevator video and gave Rice a two-game suspension.
In the NFL, domestic violence equals a slap on the wrist. In the NFL, a player can get a one-game suspension for deliberately violent hit on the field. Do something violent off the field against someone who is defenseless, and it's only an extra game.
Rice had a couple of things in his favor: He hasn't been in trouble before, and he's been suitably repentant. The fact he's now married to the woman he dragged from the elevator would suggest they've addressed whatever issues existed in their relationship.
But is Goodell so tone-deaf that he doesn't understand how offensive Rice's behavior was to a large segment of the NFL's audience? The league aims a portion of its marketing specifically at women. The Ravens website sells a women's pink, bejeweled Ray Rice jersey for $59.95. If the league isn't interested in taking the moral high ground, it should at least be savvy enough to protect its business interests.
What if some groups were outraged enough to share their wrath with the NFL's long roster of corporate partners and official sponsors? What if organizations dedicated to fighting domestic violence made it known they would avoid buying products made by Ford, Coca-Cola and Anheuser-Busch, all of whom are official NFL sponsors?
The NFL blew this one on a stunning scale. Eight games would have been a more appropriate penalty for Rice than eight quarters.