From sugar cookies and egg nog to credit card fraud and fights over parking spaces, there's nothing quite like it.
So with a nod to Allan Sherman and Mad magazine, let's modestly offer some Pittsburgh sports twists on the traditional songs of the season. Gather the family around the slip-covered recliner, have cousin Anthony wail on the harmonica and raise your voices in song.
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When the Steelers have a bad season, the focus is on the parking lot party before and after the game.
To the tune of "My Favorite Things"
Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Canadian Club.
Baby back ribs with sauce or a rub.
Loving the burn of those crispy hot wings,
These are a tailgater's favorite things.
Steaks on the grill, oh how nicely they sizzle,
Marinate well, must use more than a drizzle.
Remembering days of four Super Bowl rings,
These are a tailgater's favorite things.
Guys in Troy's jersey eye girls who are frisky,
Even more fun when they're loaded on whiskey.
Atmosphere's ripe for a parking lot fling,
These are a tailgater's favorite things.
Burgers and hot dogs, kielbasa and kraut,
Grab a cold beer, either pilsner or stout.
Drowning one's sorrow can numb losing's sting,
This is a tailgater's favorite thing.
Pocket the car keys, don't dare drink and drive,
Wait 'til next season when hope is revived.
Study the draft and develop rankings,
These are a tailgater's favorite things.
When the team stinks.
When there's failure,
When they're feeling bad.
They simply remember their favorite things.
And then they don't feel so sad.
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What better way to sum up the year for the pro teams than with doggerel padded with a nonsensical refrain?
To the tune of "Deck The Halls."
Lockout gave us half a season,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Penguins played with much cohesion
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Nothing matters 'til the playoffs.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Won two rounds, then came the chaos.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Oh, those rotten Boston Bruins,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Turned a great year into ruins.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Sid and Geno put up zeroes,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Expect much more from scoring heroes.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Hey, the Pirates broke the streak,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Twenty years were awful bleak.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
McCutchen was the M-V-P,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Got engaged right on TV.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Gerrit Cole was more than ready,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Liriano was so steady,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Snapped the long depressing hex,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Now they have to write the checks.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Yikes, the Steelers 0 and 4.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Couldn't get up off the floor.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Defense got so old and slow,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Have to change the status quo.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Tomlin stepped across the line.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Goodell hit him with a fine.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Whole thing just seemed kind of loony,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Wonder how it played with Rooney?
Fa la la la la la la la la.
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Pitt continues its streak of insignificant bowl appearances while ending an unprecedented three-year run in Birmingham's BBVA Compass Bowl. Instead, a 6-6 season sends the Panthers to scenic Detroit for the Dec. 26 Little Caesars Pizza Bowl against Bowling Green.
To the tune of "O Christmas Tree"
O Pizza Bowl, O Pizza Bowl,
Winter time, Motor City.
O Pizza Bowl, O Pizza Bowl,
No way this can be pretty.
Game's in a dome,
But that is all.
We want much more
Than just football.
O Pizza Bowl, O Pizza Bowl,
This is no bowl vacation.
O Pizza Bowl, O Pizza Bowl,
More like an obligation.
We wanted sun and, yes, a beach.
Six wins put that out of reach.
O Pizza Bowl, O Pizza Bowl,
It's Little Caesars freezer.
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