The beauty of having Christmas fall on a Friday is there's a whole glorious weekend to celebrate. Gifts, gluttony and football -- who could ask for more?
Take a break from the incessant beeping of the electronic devices and gather the family around the ottoman to put these new lyrics to familiar holiday melodies. (Maybe one of the kids has a piano app on his new phone). With a nod to the influences of Mad magazine and Allan Sherman, here's a chance to look back in a musical way while you wait for the kickoff of the Steelers game.
Sing loud and sing proud, because for all the complaining, all three pro teams were in the playoffs in 2015.
---
Trading Neil Walker to the New York Mets may have been necessary, but it definitely wasn't popular.
To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas"
So Neil Walker had to go,
Traded him to New York.
Numbers didn't add up right,
'Tho he did some good work.
One year 'til he's on the market,
Take the highest bid.
Did his job, a nice guy, too.
So long, Pittsburgh Kid.
---
Those who remember the Steelers when the offense was built around the running game are still adapting to the new emphasis on passing.
Thanks to Ben Roethlisberger and a talented group of receivers, the Steelers are setting passing records.
To the tune of "Let It Snow"
They used to hand off to Franco.
It was money in the bank. Oh,
They've found a new way to go.
Let 'em throw,
Watch 'em throw,
There they go.
The Bus would slam bang for just four,
Now they're throwing for so much more.
They're frightening every foe,
Love to throw,
Deep they go,
What a show.
A.B., Bryant and Wheaton, too.
Teams just don't know what to do.
If they force them underneath,
Ben can always go to Heath.
Oh they're moving the chains so fast now.
No-huddle shows their know-how.
Forget about the status quo,
Let 'em throw,
Scores aren't low,
Way to go.
---
Three stanzas for each of the city's three professional team.
To the tune of "Deck The Hall"
Wild-card round is unforgiving,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
One and done is not a good thing.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Arietta was so nasty
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Painful like an angioplasty,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Pedro's glove was made of steel,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Tried to trade him, but no deal.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Every ground ball was in doubt,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Hurdle's patience just ran out.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Walker's gone, and A.J. too,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Holes to fill, what will Neal do?
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Can't replace them just with scrubs,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Not with those improving Cubs.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Sid the Kid is on a skid,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Can he do what he once did?
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Looking 'way too ordinary,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
That's a trend that's very scary.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Dumped the coach for so-so start,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Stars still need to do their part.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Kessel has to earn his cash,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Or there will be big backlash.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Fleury's solid, he's the one,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
He could lead a long Cup run,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Need to pick up and start scoring,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Who dreamed this team could be so boring?
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Steelers, can they run the table?
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Maybe, is the defense able?
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Scoring points, have lots of heroes
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Need the defense to get zeroes.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Ben no doubt is in his prime,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Cannot waste this special time.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Scoreboard lights up every week,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Now plug those secondary leaks.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
The stress they cause can lead to liquor,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Took three tries to find a kicker.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Always have big expectations,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Part of life in Steelers Nation.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Altoona Mirror, December 20, 2015
NFL officials have obviously had a tough season, and we haven't even reached the higher stakes of the playoffs.
Calls are missed, and useless mid-week apologies are issued.
Think about it: There's the initial call on the field. Then there's a replay review. And sometimes that is followed by another judgment issued from the league offices. That's when the league sends out statements saying they're sorry.
Those can't be traded for wins.
The mistakes often lead for some to call for the NFL to have full-time officials, which has never made any sense.
Current officials work weekends only. Their "real" jobs are often impressive. Ed Hochuli, arguably one of the league's most conspicuous officials, is a lawyer during the week. Other officials are educators or business executives.
The NFL has often bragged about the real-life careers, believing it demonstrates the intelligence and character that are needed to make the grade as an official.
If the NFL required full-time commitments, it would lose a lot of the men who call games now. It simply wouldn't make sense for them to give up careers to work in football.
It's never been adequately explained what the full-time officials would do with their week. Review video? They do that now. Have critiques of their work made available? That happens now, too.
Study the rule book? So few of the controversies pertain to the application of the rules.
It's about making the calls in a split second in an environment where the players are bigger and faster than they've ever been. How is a week of classroom work going to help anyone discern which 300-pounder has possession of the football after six of them pile on it?
What are the studies they would undertake? Microphone Technique 101? Advanced Theory Of The Illegal Shift?
Maybe what the NFL needs is more officials. Maybe that means two more on the field for every game. Perhaps there should be an eye in the sky, watching from above.
Those could possibly help. Punching a time clock from Monday to Friday won't.
---
--LOOK SHARP
The NFL has a dress code and enforces it.
Sometimes players get word during the week that they've run afoul of the code because they appeared on the field with an untucked jersey or drooping socks.
It's nitpicky, but necessary. Just look at what baseball players do when they're given some latitude within the idea of wearing a uniform.
Part of the reason the NFL is so detailed is the league wants to protect its brand.
Yet the NFL doesn't give a second thought to having players wear ridiculous "alternate" uniforms like some of the monochromatic designs that have been used for Thursday night games.
The St. Louis Rams looked like a giant mustard drip the other night in an all-yellow uniform that was distracting, especially when the Tampa Bay Bucs were in a blood-red ensemble.
The idea there is extra jerseys sell, so the league is willing to experiment.
If there was money to be made in slouching socks, those would probably be OK, too.
---
--NO PRIZE
One of the local supermarket chains is giving away prizes in the name of helping to relieve the stress of the holiday season.
One of the prizes being offered is tickets to Penguins games.
The Penguins haven't exactly been a stress reliever so far this season.
---
--FAMILIAR NAME
Give Vontaze Burfict of the Cincinnati Bengals credit for one thing. He's made himself a household name in no time.
You may not love him, but you certainly know him.
Do you suppose Santa will be delivering some Burfict jerseys to kids in the Cincinnati area this week?
He's a dirty player who loves to yap, but Pittsburgh fans would love him if he wore black and gold.
Calls are missed, and useless mid-week apologies are issued.
Think about it: There's the initial call on the field. Then there's a replay review. And sometimes that is followed by another judgment issued from the league offices. That's when the league sends out statements saying they're sorry.
Those can't be traded for wins.
The mistakes often lead for some to call for the NFL to have full-time officials, which has never made any sense.
Current officials work weekends only. Their "real" jobs are often impressive. Ed Hochuli, arguably one of the league's most conspicuous officials, is a lawyer during the week. Other officials are educators or business executives.
The NFL has often bragged about the real-life careers, believing it demonstrates the intelligence and character that are needed to make the grade as an official.
If the NFL required full-time commitments, it would lose a lot of the men who call games now. It simply wouldn't make sense for them to give up careers to work in football.
It's never been adequately explained what the full-time officials would do with their week. Review video? They do that now. Have critiques of their work made available? That happens now, too.
Study the rule book? So few of the controversies pertain to the application of the rules.
It's about making the calls in a split second in an environment where the players are bigger and faster than they've ever been. How is a week of classroom work going to help anyone discern which 300-pounder has possession of the football after six of them pile on it?
What are the studies they would undertake? Microphone Technique 101? Advanced Theory Of The Illegal Shift?
Maybe what the NFL needs is more officials. Maybe that means two more on the field for every game. Perhaps there should be an eye in the sky, watching from above.
Those could possibly help. Punching a time clock from Monday to Friday won't.
---
--LOOK SHARP
The NFL has a dress code and enforces it.
Sometimes players get word during the week that they've run afoul of the code because they appeared on the field with an untucked jersey or drooping socks.
It's nitpicky, but necessary. Just look at what baseball players do when they're given some latitude within the idea of wearing a uniform.
Part of the reason the NFL is so detailed is the league wants to protect its brand.
Yet the NFL doesn't give a second thought to having players wear ridiculous "alternate" uniforms like some of the monochromatic designs that have been used for Thursday night games.
The St. Louis Rams looked like a giant mustard drip the other night in an all-yellow uniform that was distracting, especially when the Tampa Bay Bucs were in a blood-red ensemble.
The idea there is extra jerseys sell, so the league is willing to experiment.
If there was money to be made in slouching socks, those would probably be OK, too.
---
--NO PRIZE
One of the local supermarket chains is giving away prizes in the name of helping to relieve the stress of the holiday season.
One of the prizes being offered is tickets to Penguins games.
The Penguins haven't exactly been a stress reliever so far this season.
---
--FAMILIAR NAME
Give Vontaze Burfict of the Cincinnati Bengals credit for one thing. He's made himself a household name in no time.
You may not love him, but you certainly know him.
Do you suppose Santa will be delivering some Burfict jerseys to kids in the Cincinnati area this week?
He's a dirty player who loves to yap, but Pittsburgh fans would love him if he wore black and gold.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Altoona Mirror, December 13, 2015
To know Neil Walker is to like him.
He's a classy person, the product of his upbringing and his making the right choices. Playing a major league sport is tough enough, more so when that opportunity comes in a player's home town.
Here's something about Walker that you may not know. He felt badly about missing church because the Pirates' compressed weekend schedule included a lot of Saturday night and Sunday afternoon games. Walker contacted a priest friend, who agreed to celebrate a Saturday afternoon Catholic Mass in one of the conference rooms at PNC Park. It was open to anyone who worked at the park, whether they were teammates, janitors or vendors.
Walker handled his time with the Pirates well. It came to an end last week when he was traded to the New York Mets.
The Pirates traded him because he could land them a starting pitcher (Jon Niese) they needed after A.J. Burnett retired and J.A. Happ left as a free agent. They traded him because they can replace him efficiently in the short term with Josh Harrison and after that with prospect Alen Hanson.
They traded him because he's a free agent after the 2016 season and the Pirates had no interest in retaining him with a new contract.
Walker was a good productive player in his time with the Pirates. He wasn't part of the core they'll try to build around. Andrew McCutchen and Starling Marte are those players, and they both have long-term contracts, which they signed in their 20s.
Teams in the Pirates circumstances can sign a few players to form that core, then fill in around them by staying fluid. Ideally, prospects come up through the system to take the jobs. That's certainly the hope with Hanson.
Walker turns 31 before next season ends. Teams like the Pirates don't commit to position players over 30. It's almost always a poor investment. It might be a good headline in the moment, but it becomes a burden that lingers.
It isn't obvious, but Walker is a below-average defensive second baseman. He has sure hands and makes accurate throws, but there are too many balls he doesn't reach. That won't get better with age.
The Pirates got the best years of Walker's career.
What about moving him to first base? If he made the transition successfully, his output doesn't project the kind of power that traditionally plays at first base. Besides, prospect Josh Bell should be ready to claim first base within a year or so.
In sports, sentiment is a word you can find between seal and septic in the dictionary. It's about business.
If you think this is a byproduct of today's Monopoly money era, think again. After the 1962 season, the Pirates decided they were going nowhere and started to rebuild.
Part of that meant trading shortstop Dick Groat to St. Louis to land a starting pitcher. Groat, who grew up in Pittsburgh, was crushed. He had been so devoted to the Pirates that he never charged anyone when he made a speaking appearance. He thought it was part of his duty to represent the team at functions like that.
Although moving turned out to be great for Groat's career, he held on to the resentment for 20 years. It happens.
Nice guys don't have to finish last. But they do get traded.
He's a classy person, the product of his upbringing and his making the right choices. Playing a major league sport is tough enough, more so when that opportunity comes in a player's home town.
Here's something about Walker that you may not know. He felt badly about missing church because the Pirates' compressed weekend schedule included a lot of Saturday night and Sunday afternoon games. Walker contacted a priest friend, who agreed to celebrate a Saturday afternoon Catholic Mass in one of the conference rooms at PNC Park. It was open to anyone who worked at the park, whether they were teammates, janitors or vendors.
Walker handled his time with the Pirates well. It came to an end last week when he was traded to the New York Mets.
The Pirates traded him because he could land them a starting pitcher (Jon Niese) they needed after A.J. Burnett retired and J.A. Happ left as a free agent. They traded him because they can replace him efficiently in the short term with Josh Harrison and after that with prospect Alen Hanson.
They traded him because he's a free agent after the 2016 season and the Pirates had no interest in retaining him with a new contract.
Walker was a good productive player in his time with the Pirates. He wasn't part of the core they'll try to build around. Andrew McCutchen and Starling Marte are those players, and they both have long-term contracts, which they signed in their 20s.
Teams in the Pirates circumstances can sign a few players to form that core, then fill in around them by staying fluid. Ideally, prospects come up through the system to take the jobs. That's certainly the hope with Hanson.
Walker turns 31 before next season ends. Teams like the Pirates don't commit to position players over 30. It's almost always a poor investment. It might be a good headline in the moment, but it becomes a burden that lingers.
It isn't obvious, but Walker is a below-average defensive second baseman. He has sure hands and makes accurate throws, but there are too many balls he doesn't reach. That won't get better with age.
The Pirates got the best years of Walker's career.
What about moving him to first base? If he made the transition successfully, his output doesn't project the kind of power that traditionally plays at first base. Besides, prospect Josh Bell should be ready to claim first base within a year or so.
In sports, sentiment is a word you can find between seal and septic in the dictionary. It's about business.
If you think this is a byproduct of today's Monopoly money era, think again. After the 1962 season, the Pirates decided they were going nowhere and started to rebuild.
Part of that meant trading shortstop Dick Groat to St. Louis to land a starting pitcher. Groat, who grew up in Pittsburgh, was crushed. He had been so devoted to the Pirates that he never charged anyone when he made a speaking appearance. He thought it was part of his duty to represent the team at functions like that.
Although moving turned out to be great for Groat's career, he held on to the resentment for 20 years. It happens.
Nice guys don't have to finish last. But they do get traded.
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Altoona Mirror, December 6, 2015
Adios, Pedro Alvarez. It was never dull.
The Pirates' decision to non-tender Alvarez a 2016 contract comes with less risk that it seems.
Alvarez was a one-dimensional player: He sometimes hit home runs. The rest of the time, he hit for a low average, struck out a lot, failed miserably in the cleanup spot and played horrible defense.
Not everyone can hit 27 home runs, as Alvarez did last season. But as noted previously, 22 of those home runs came with the bases empty, not many of them came in situations that clearly influenced the outcome of the game and they were probably offset by the runs he gave away with 23 errors at first base.
Defense is probably the least-appreciated aspect of baseball. A player may bat four times in a game; he's on the field for potentially 27 outs.
Pitching is important. Of course it is, and pitching and defense are partners. Gerrit Cole got 624 batters out last season. He had 202 strikeouts, which means someone had to handle the ball on 422 (two thirds) of those outs.
Alvarez's error total is misleading because it doesn't count the misplays that were either charitably scored or didn't meet the full criteria for an error. But there were still plays that an average major league first baseman could make that Alvarez didn't execute.
There's a mindset that if an error doesn't lead directly to a run, there's no harm. That's incorrect. Giving away outs means pitchers have to throw more pitches. They have to work through more high-stress situations. Errors allow the opponent to turn the batting order around. An error in the second inning might mean that the opposing team's cleanup hitter gets an extra plate appearance in the ninth inning.
Alvarez is a prototypical designated hitter, if a team is willing to trade a lot of outs for an occasional home run. He will be signed by someone in the American League looking to take a low-risk chance on a player who's a year away from free agency.
As he heads out of town, let's clear up a misconception about Alvarez: He was never apathetic about his game.
Some people got that idea because he never showed much emotion on the field. If bat tossing and helmet slamming somehow translated to success, there would be a Dale Berra wing at the Hall of Fame.
Alvarez never cheated the Pirates on effort. He was respected by teammates, and that's not a privilege afforded to slackers.
He worked. He just didn't produce, and didn't justify his status as the second overall pick in the 2008 draft or the $6 million signing bonus he was paid.
It happens. It was time to move on and stop trying to force a fit that wasn't going to work.
The challenge for the Pirates is to find an alternative that will be better. The home runs notwithstanding, that might not be as difficult as it seems.
---
--PLAYING HURT
In case you missed it, the Steelers called out linebacker Ryan Shazier over the time he's missed with a variety of injuries.
Note: This is not related to the concussion he sustained in last Sunday's game.
Defensive coordinator Keith Butler told the Tribune-Review, "He has to play through them, and that's part of growing up and being a veteran in the NFL. If you are waiting to feel good before you play, you are never going to play."
The words came from Butler, but you can bet the message came from a higher authority in the organization.
---
--FACING ADVERSITY
What could be more sad than a press conference to announce that a 20-year-old athlete has cancer?
Yet Pitt football player James Connor was so positive and determined, it turned a bad occasion into something uplifting.
Pitt students unfurled a banner at the basketball game that said, "Connorstrong."
Indeed.
The Pirates' decision to non-tender Alvarez a 2016 contract comes with less risk that it seems.
Alvarez was a one-dimensional player: He sometimes hit home runs. The rest of the time, he hit for a low average, struck out a lot, failed miserably in the cleanup spot and played horrible defense.
Not everyone can hit 27 home runs, as Alvarez did last season. But as noted previously, 22 of those home runs came with the bases empty, not many of them came in situations that clearly influenced the outcome of the game and they were probably offset by the runs he gave away with 23 errors at first base.
Defense is probably the least-appreciated aspect of baseball. A player may bat four times in a game; he's on the field for potentially 27 outs.
Pitching is important. Of course it is, and pitching and defense are partners. Gerrit Cole got 624 batters out last season. He had 202 strikeouts, which means someone had to handle the ball on 422 (two thirds) of those outs.
Alvarez's error total is misleading because it doesn't count the misplays that were either charitably scored or didn't meet the full criteria for an error. But there were still plays that an average major league first baseman could make that Alvarez didn't execute.
There's a mindset that if an error doesn't lead directly to a run, there's no harm. That's incorrect. Giving away outs means pitchers have to throw more pitches. They have to work through more high-stress situations. Errors allow the opponent to turn the batting order around. An error in the second inning might mean that the opposing team's cleanup hitter gets an extra plate appearance in the ninth inning.
Alvarez is a prototypical designated hitter, if a team is willing to trade a lot of outs for an occasional home run. He will be signed by someone in the American League looking to take a low-risk chance on a player who's a year away from free agency.
As he heads out of town, let's clear up a misconception about Alvarez: He was never apathetic about his game.
Some people got that idea because he never showed much emotion on the field. If bat tossing and helmet slamming somehow translated to success, there would be a Dale Berra wing at the Hall of Fame.
Alvarez never cheated the Pirates on effort. He was respected by teammates, and that's not a privilege afforded to slackers.
He worked. He just didn't produce, and didn't justify his status as the second overall pick in the 2008 draft or the $6 million signing bonus he was paid.
It happens. It was time to move on and stop trying to force a fit that wasn't going to work.
The challenge for the Pirates is to find an alternative that will be better. The home runs notwithstanding, that might not be as difficult as it seems.
---
--PLAYING HURT
In case you missed it, the Steelers called out linebacker Ryan Shazier over the time he's missed with a variety of injuries.
Note: This is not related to the concussion he sustained in last Sunday's game.
Defensive coordinator Keith Butler told the Tribune-Review, "He has to play through them, and that's part of growing up and being a veteran in the NFL. If you are waiting to feel good before you play, you are never going to play."
The words came from Butler, but you can bet the message came from a higher authority in the organization.
---
--FACING ADVERSITY
What could be more sad than a press conference to announce that a 20-year-old athlete has cancer?
Yet Pitt football player James Connor was so positive and determined, it turned a bad occasion into something uplifting.
Pitt students unfurled a banner at the basketball game that said, "Connorstrong."
Indeed.
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