Gerrit Cole is in California, having his right elbow examined, which means the Pirates are likely to hit September with exactly zero of their original starting pitchers in the rotation.
Francisco Liriano and Jon Niese have been traded, and Jeff Locke and Juan Nicasio have been shuffled off to the bullpen. Now Cole is in the waiting room of a specialist, thumbing through a stale People magazine and hoping there's nothing wrong with his elbow.
This has been an incredibly disjointed season. The Pirates' ability to contend for the postseason speaks to the mediocrity of the National League beyond the Cubs and Nationals more than anything.
If you're old enough, this should remind you of 1973.
The Pirates were defending National League East champions, coming off a 96-59 record, but it was a different team. Roberto Clemente was gone, and the Pirates would soon discover that 19-game winner Steve Blass had lost the ability to control his pitches.
The '73 Pirates sputtered all season in a mediocre division, There were never more than six games over .500, as many as eight games under that mark. Their longest winning streak was seven games, the longest losing streak was six games. They had one winning month.
It seemed like it was a season-long ordeal of win a couple, lose a couple. They could never get separation from the pack.
General manager Joe L. Brown, who was always a cool hand on the throttle, gave in to panic and fired manager Bill Virdon on Sept. 6, with the team in second place, just three games out. Brown thought bringing Danny Murtaugh back could salvage the season. But the Pirates split their last 26 games under Murtaugh.
That led to one final agony. They played a make-up game the day after the season ended. The San Diego Padres had to fly across the country for the afternoon game at Three Rivers Stadium, which drew 2,572 ticket buyers.
Although the Pirates had beaten the Padres in eight of 11 games, they lost the last one 4-3. The result was a moot point anyway, because the Mets had clinched the division by winning their own make-up game earlier in Chicago. The Mets won the division with an 82-79 record. The Pirates finished 80-82 and went home. No wild card in those days, kids.
The good news? The Pirates made changes and won the division in 1974 and '75, came close in '77, came very close in '78 and won the World Series in 1979.
So as agonizing as 1973 was, it was just a painful detour along the way to more success.
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--BUBBLE BURST
If you ever needed proof of the media conspiracy to keep valuable information from the public, this is it:
It appears Clint Hurdle has given up his bubble gum habit and switched to sunflower seeds.
Those hundreds of shots of Hurdle in the dugout used to catch him working on a giant wad of pink Dubble Bubble. Spies report he would chew eight pieces at a time.
There are still buckets of gum in the dugout. (A fresh supply is imperative because Dubble Bubble is formulated to lose its flavor in less than 45 seconds).
But Hurdle doesn't seem to be indulging. He's gone from the sweet to the salty, chewing on seeds and spraying the shells.
What happened? Dental issues? Trying to change his luck in a subpar season? Jaw fatigue from working that big hunk of gum?
We don't know.
Seems like this should be a story that's right in Robby (Root) Incmikoski's investigative wheelhouse.
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--BUSY STREETS
Pitt opens the football season this Saturday with a home game against Villanova.
Down the street, the Pirates will have a home game against the Brewers that evening.
In between, the annual Ribfest and its free concerts will be staged outside of Heinz Field. Considering the limited surface parking and road closures, you should probably leave the house now.
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