The Pirates and Cubs will be two-thirds into a series at Wrigley Field this time next week.
Odds are they'll have exchanged unpleasantries, whether they're throwing insults or baseballs at each other.
As Keith Jackson would say, these two teams just don't like each other. It's a rivalry that's ramped up almost instantly because it has the classic ingredients:
--Both teams are good.
--They're competing for the same thing.
--There's an easily identifiable villain.
People revive the Steelers-Browns feud every year just out of tradition and the understandable contempt for Cleveland. It's been upstaged by other conflicts, namely those with the Ravens and Bengals.
Truth be told, the Browns are closer to inspiring sympathy than contempt. Their record of failure is long, their annual quarterback audition is pathetic and their new-and-improved uniforms are an even worse use of their Halloween colors.
The real heat is now reserved for the Ravens and Bengals. Cincinnati has moved up to No. 1 as the Steelers and Bengals are now slugging it out for AFC North supremacy.
Sam Wyche used to be the all-purpose bad guy for the Bengals; now that role is filled by Vontaze Burfict and Adam (No Longer Known As Pac Man) Jones.
Pirates-Cubs came to a boil with the prodding of Chicago manager Joe Maddon, a too cool for school character who seemingly mocked Jung Ho Kang's broken leg last year with the bizarre suggestion the injury was plantar fasciitis.
It didn't take long to reheat the pot in the first series this season.
After Kyle Lobstein paid back a bruise on Starling Marte by hitting the Cubs' Ben Zobrist, Maddon was on the top step of the dugout, yelling things that made lip readers blush. The Pirates' bench answered, and so did Francisco Cervelli.
It shouldn't take more than the sight of Maddon to get things fired up again this weekend.
It's been suggested that Maddon is the new Tony LaRussa, a universal lightning rod for hostile feelings. The difference is that apparently Maddon is at least liked by his own players.
Once when the Cardinals and Pirates were racing in from the bullpens to join a benches-clearing scrum, one of the St. Louis relievers hollered to the Pirates, "A hundred bucks to anybody who knocks out our manager."
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--MISPLACED ANGER
When Andrew McCutchen popped off about firing the official scorer last week, that was more about frustration over his .229 batting average than it was any reasoned thought about the quality of scoring calls.
Players who complain about scoring calls are usually being selfish. Umpires' calls can affect the outcome of a game; scoring calls impact nothing but statistics.
McCutchen has a personal publicity staff apart from the Pirates' PR staff. Those people must have choked when they saw their client being petty about a scoring call after a loss.
By the way, perpetually beleaguered scorer Tony Krizmanich got the call right on the ball McCutchen misplayed.
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--WRONG CHOICE
So long to Mike Adams, who was cut by the Steelers last week after four mostly unproductive seasons.
He was a wasted second-round draft pick, and hasn't the team had too many of those?
The list includes Limas Sweed, Ricardo Colclough and Alonzo Jackson.
But only Adams had the added element of being a middle-of-the-night Carson Street stabbing victim.
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--TRAFFIC JAM
Twenty horses in the Kentucky Derby?
It looked like one of the parkways at rush hour before they started to separate.
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--SAY WHAT?
One of the hidden gems in NBC's coverage of the NHL playoffs is those awkward on-ice interviews conducted right before the opening faceoff. Fans are roaring, music is blasting, and lasers and strobe lights are pulsating.
There's nothing like the sight of Pierre Maguire leaning over and shouting questions into the ears of players.
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